Does this really matter?

Food for thought....

This is something we all know, however, struggle to grapple with.

What if we stop for a moment and think, does this really matter? In the long list of endless questions and thoughts that run in our heads daily, ‘does it matter’ should be a question that we should be asking ourselves often.

A truth that many of us dislike is that we have no control over many of the things that happen in our lives. Sometimes we paint a specific outcome to something we have been working hard on, e.g. if I do steps, a,b,c at work this will surely get me a job promotion. But sometimes that outcome doesn’t happen the way we intended it to. We start questioning: what is wrong with me or what did I do wrong to deserve it. We may try to resist the change. But, maybe you didn’t do anything wrong. You are not the problem. You may have to accept that many external forces in life can shape the situation or outcome that we have not planned for.  

It’s easy to say, believe in yourself. You need to though.  If you are not going to believe in yourself to begin with, who will? If you have faith that you did the best you can and things work out in a different direction with an unclear ending, you need to acknowledge your feelings of uncertainty, anxiety, anger, frustration and learn to pivot. Pivot is the keyword here. Not reaching the result we ought to seek might be one of the worst fears we can face. Navigating through the challenges will help you to learn how to pivot and ultimately reach your destination. Who knows, maybe the destination that you will reach might even better be than the destination you have wished for.  This is a life lesson that’s hard to grapple with but the earlier we learn to pivot the quicker we can get ourselves unstuck and move towards our goals or whatever it may be.

Let go of the things you can’t control

 So, from now on, I want you to stop and catch yourself when you are worrying about whatever it is that you’re thinking. Assess the thought: is it in my control or is it out of my control? If it is out of your control, acknowledge your feelings and find an outlet to vent your negative feelings. Your feelings don’t have to be positive as this is probably not realistic at this stage, rather, coping healthily should be the focus. You can give yourself a break to recharge if you are overwhelmed to get back on track. Most significantly, looking at the bigger picture and reframing our thinking will enable us to find lessons in the outcomes of a situation.  

Of course, people have their different ways of dealing with situations and this is generalized advice when dealing with things not going our way, however, it is good to keep in mind.

Here’s a simple recipe Mel Robbins gives us that we can all remember:

-        Work hard

-        Take chances

-        Screw up

-        Learn the lesson

-        Move on

-        Be kind

-        Repeat

On a sweet note, here’s a picture of my brunch the other day of blueberry cake. 🫐